Human Horror Films
by Draikinator
Summary: Blades really doesn't like Knockout the first time they meet, but no one else on Cybertron likes human horror films like he does, and it's hard not to base a friendship on that. Meanwhile, Bee's a little busy with politics.


"You? Seriously? How are you even an _Autobot_?" Blades grimaced at the thought, folding his arms, "You're not even wearing a _brand_."

"And you're wearing the _wrong_ one," Knockout snapped back, optic ridges twitching unhappily.

Blades tapped the symbol on the front of his chest, "I am so. I'm part of a _rescue squad_, it's a subdivision of the Autobots- like the _Wreckers_. Oh, but you wouldn't know what a rescue team was, seeing as _Decepticons_ don't really _care_ about rescuing anybody but_ themselves_."

Knockout practically snarled, the heel of one pede snapping to the ground with a harsh click, "You didn't even _fight_ in the war."

Blades uncrossed his arms and put his servos on his hips, "and you fought on the _wrong_ _side_."

Something whirred in his glistening red arms and clicked off with a start. An aborted transformation sequence, Blades thought, but Knockout just scrunched his optics shut and turned with a grunt away, pedes clicking as he walked down the hall and away.

One problem down. Now to find Bumblebee.

* * *

Bumblebee was, of course, busy. As the elected leader of the restored Cybertron, it really wasn't a surprise that he had his servos full and very little time for fraternizing. Of course, Blades was disappointed, but not enough to let it deter him from seeing his 'boyfriend' as Dani liked to put it. He counted his lucky stars again that Bee, the Bee, his Bee, was as interested in Blades as Blades was in him. Though, that may have stemmed from the years of rescue missions and life saving daredevil stunts that had come after all the initial embarrassments of overenthusiasm.

He opted to go down to the basement of the hall of records (a brief two-block flight from the council chambers) and the film screen station that Bumblebee had told him was set up there (ever thoughtful Bumblebee, remembering his favourite hobby).

He was curious but pleased to hear the sounds of one of his favourite classic human horror films, an older one, filmed in low resolution 2D with no colour, but an interesting story, and a timeliness to it he appreciated as a part of human culture- but was far less pleased to see the room vacant but for a certain unpleasant red ex-Decepticon.

"Ah," he said, uncertainly, hanging by the door. The ex-con looked up at him, dark optics narrowing, before his rolled them with a sigh and gestured to the many empty seats behind him.

"I'm not changing the film. Now, sit down, or don't, but do it _quietly_, I've never seen this one."

Blades nodded hesitantly, and with a flick of his optics to the screen, made a decision, and moved to the back, as far away from the con in the front row as he could. Blades semi-expected him to be agitated by this, wondering if Knockout had been watching some terrible Decepticon media and had changed to a random film when he'd heard Blade's footsteps approaching, but after a few kliks of contemplation, realized that wasn't possible. This was an earth film- and even he hadn't been able to pick up Earth broadcasts yet from this far, even trying, let alone by accident- he had to have brought the film with him.

From Earth.

They watched the rest of the black and white zombie film in silence until the credits rolled. Blades cleared his throat.

"You've never seen_ Dawn of the Dead_?"

Knockout glanced back at him sourly, "I just _did_."

Blades frowned, "How can you never have seen _Dawn of the Dead_? It's a classic. That's like saying you've never seen _Halloween_."

Knockout stared at him silently, but raised an optic ridge.

"Wait," Blades said, recoiling, "You've never seen _Halloween_!?"

Knockout shrugged, "It never played at any of the drive-in theatres."

"What? What? No way. No, that won't do, wait," Blades popped open his cockpit and didn't miss Knockout's quickly averted gaze, but did ignore it as he pulled out a stack of the DVD's Dani had given to him when he'd left for Cybertron, "I've got _Halloween_ 1, 2, and 3- and 4, but I haven't seen that one yet. I've also got_ Nightmare on Elm Street_, if you haven't seen that one."

Knockout's optic ridges went up, "Where did you get so many?"

"Dani- a human friend of mine, bought them for me."

It was only for a second, but Blades noticed a look go across the ex-con's face that was quickly quashed and replaced with his usual expression of nonchalant displeasure- he wasn't sure what it had been specifically, but it was something sad, or frustrated, and he hadn't liked it.

"Well? Pass me the first Hollow Whine, I'll set up the projector."

Blades smiled and passed it forward.

* * *

"Hey, Blades," Blades barely had time to turn before Bee had caught him by the rotors and tugged him backward into a hug, "Haven't seen you around here in awhile," Blades felt the energon moving qiuckly under his faceplate and he laughed.

"Yeah, sorry, I've been busy! Reconstruction, and, everything."

"Mm," Bee said, pulling back, but taking both of Blades' servos in his, "Bulkhead said you've been a big help. You're the only flier on the planet we aren't trying to throw in prison," he laughed, and Blades shrugged, trying not to be flattered.

"Yeah, well,_ you know_. All for the glory of Cybertron, and all that."

Bee's smile softened, "If you're getting too much of a workload, you can take a break. I know you've been helping out with everyone a little bit."

He let go of Bee's servo to wave his own flippantly, "It's really nothing. Rescue Bot and all, helping is sort of my thing."

Bee's smile came back, irresistible and new- it warmed his spark every time he saw it, something he knew Bee had longed to share with the world for _thousands of years_ and been unable to due to the damage he'd suffered- he smiled constantly now, as if he were trying to make up for lost millenia, "How's the rest of your team, anyway? I know Heatwave's been dealing with the over abundance of smelting pools and Boulder and Bulkhead have been going at construction- what about Chase? Heard from him recently?"

Blades rolled his eyes, "He's around. He mentioned something about updating the old Cybertronian lawbooks and taking them to the council, since he's technically got nothing to enforce but war crimes right now."

Bee nodded, "That would be a big help, I hope he does. And you? Outside of all this work, what have you been up to?"

Blades shouldn't have averted his eyes and shouldn't have pulled his servos back, but he did, and even making eye contact and grabbing Bee's servos again didn't stop his optics from spiralling open, confused.

"Nothing much, just, catching up on last season's _Walking Dead_."

Bee's optic ridges lowered accusingly.

"And... _American Horror Story_?"

His optics spiraled smaller and he pulled his servos back.

"I've been... you know. Around." He finished, lamely. He didn't want to admit he'd been sneaking off to Earth to catch drive-ins with Knockout- not when they really really weren't supposed to be going back to Earth without clearing it with the local authorities first, and Knockout especially wasn't allowed back on Earth at all, and he really didn't want to get Knockout in trouble- not with Bee, who seemed to be the only person other than Blades who could actually tolerate him. Not when, under all that stupid bravado and sarcasm something seemed profoundly wrong with the doctor, something so sad and terrible Blades couldn't even comprehend it- something his new friend seemed eager to conceal.

He also didn't really like lying to his boyfriend.

"I've been... sneaking down to Earth to catch the drive ins- er, fly-ins, I guess, for me," He said finally, sheepishly. It _was_ true, and unless Bee _asked_, he didn't_ have_ to mention Knockout's involvement...

Bee's optics opened back up, "What? Is that all? You had me_ worried_ there for a klik. That's fine. Just keep it on the down low, alright? In disguise, and all."

Blades brightened, "Oh, I know! I haven't been caught yet, have I?"

Bee laughed, "No, you haven't. Congratulations, you managed to slip by our 4 foot tall spacebridge operator. The one that needs eight hours of recharge every twenty-four hour cycle. What an accomplishment!"

He snorted, "Hey, come on, he has alarms set up. He's thorough."

"I know, I've seen him work. He's kind of terrifying with a computer."

"Come with me next time? There's a showing of _Oujia_ at a theatre in Wisconsin I want to go to."

Bee looked sad, "Wish I could. Unfortunately I think any _extended_ absence on my part would be noticed pretty quick."

Blades nodded, disheartened.

* * *

Blades was fine.

He was quickly gaining altitude obscuring him from sight, and at this speed, he would be long gone before anyone could hope to catch him. _Blades_ was fine.

Knockout was _not_ fine. Even at his top speed, which was, in his own defense, a little astonishing, he was being pursued by at least a_ dozen_ matching green cars of human origin that had obviously been outfitted with non-standard parts and didn't seem to have any trouble matching his speed. And unlike Blades, Knockout didn't have the skies as an escape route. Blades counted his lucky stars they hadn't brought their own helicopters.

"Blades- a little _backup_ would be _appreciated_!" Knockout's voice filled his comm, staticcy and, under the harshness of his tone, panicked.

"What do you want me to do!?" He commed back, following the pursuit from a safe height, "I'm not equipped with any weapons! And we can't attack humans!"

"We can attack_ these_ humans! MECH is the _worst kind of_ human!"

"I don't know what that means!"

Knockout groaned, loud and wordless as he spun with a shriek to face his pursuers, transforming and leaping over them. He hit the ground ungracefully, slamming into the pavement with a metallic shriek, but they kept going, tires spinning as they tried to about face.

"Give me a lift!" He cried from the ground, already picking himself back up, abandoning the armoured plating that had crumpled off when he'd crashed.

Blades swung down, quickly, dropping his crane haphazardly. He knew he shouldn't at these speeds, but he was low on options and Knockout was already leaking- Knockout grabbed the cable in one servo and swung his pedes onto the hook, gesturing for him to go up, up.

Knockout was heavy. He'd ben prepared for this- having ferried his team and Bee on a hookline for short distances before, but, going his max speed and trying to gain altitude? He found his engine chugging at the effort, but didn't say anything. This was a _pretty bad_ situation, but Knockout had been at _war_ and this couldn't _possibly_ have _anything_ on the things he had seen- and Blades _desperately_ wanted to prove he was just as capable as the rest of them.

He heaved himself higher, trying to get out of range of whatever human weapons they were firing at them. For all the rescues Blades had been a part of- even and including Doctor Morrocco's horrible future, this was far more terrifying than anything he'd yet encountered. These people, these humans actually wanted him offline. _Permanently_.

"Call for a space bridge!" Knockout yelled up at him. Oh-_ obviously_. Knockout was too busy clinging for dear life- Blades activated his comm unit and had his coordinates patched through to the Autobot base before Raf even picked up.

"Raf!" He yelled as the static from the other line burst to life, "Space bridge! Now! MECH!"

"Wha- Got it, locked onto your coordinates- bridge open in three- two-"

The portal blared to life in front of him, and Blades realized belatedly he should he sent coordinates that were a little further away as he hit the portal and kept going- but his hookline hit the side of the bridge and knocked Knockout right off of his line. He tried to transform and turn, but the forward momentum just sent him flying harder into the portal, and he crashed into the base wall with a metal clang that had his head shaking, optics blurring- and he had to reset them to get them functioning again.

"Blades! What happened?" Ratchet said, moving toward him, but Blades was already scrabbling forward on his servos and knees, before he got back on his pedes and ran right back through the portal, diving off the edge. Luckily, Knockout hadn't hit the ground yet, both arms out to increase his drag, and Blades dropped into helicopter mode, releasing his hook line and topping forward to dive.

He caught him with only a few more metres to spare, jerking upward so hard he felt something snap, but he pulled upward again. A shot clipped one of his landing pads and knocked it off the front connector, but all he had to do was fly straight up, and everything would be okay.

His crane was taught, far too taught below him, and he could feel the unfamiliar twinge of inner mechanisms crumpling inside under the strain of it, coloured lights exploding in his vision from the human's firing.

He _heard_ his left landing pad fall off before he actually _felt_ it, and angled upward with a final rev, swinging Knockout into the portal ahead of him before dropping and crashing into it in a heap behind him.

* * *

The next thing he was aware of was waking up in Ratchet's medical bay on Earth.

"Hg?" He said, an incoherent static-laced noise he himself didn't even understand as he reset his blurry optics again, bringing his audials online.

"-Can't believe you even_ did_ that."

He looked over blearily at a frowning Ratchet.

"Whu?" He said, slightly more sensically.

"I said, I can't believe you did that. I can't _believe_ you went to Earth without clearing the excursion."

"Wha? No- it was- a- _mistake_-" he said, pushing himself up. His internals were sore and he immediately hated the position.

"Don't even _bother_. Knockout already 'spilled the beans,' as Miko would say."

He sat back with a harsh exvent. _Knockout_. Man, he was in trouble.

"You're in trouble," Ratchet said, turning back to his diagnostics, "Bumblebee wants to see you. I told him he couldn't until you woke up, _but_."

Blades grimaced and brought his servos to his optics with a groan. Great.

The door clicked open, and he leaned over wearily to see a very upset Bee stomping in. His servos were clenched in fists and his optic ridges were drawn down. Blades flicked his optics away as Ratchet slipped out the door before it closed.

"I cannot _believe_-"

"In my own defense, I _did_ tell you I've been going down to Earth to-"

"_Believe_ you've been going behind my back with _Knockout_ of all mechs!"

Blades stopped on a dime.

"Behind your- with- what?"

Bee's servos actually shook, "Look- I _know_ I've been busy, but- I thought- I _didn't_ think- I didn't_ think_ you'd- You could have _just_-"

Blade's optic ridges rose in concern and he reached a servo toward him, "Wait- I wasn't-"

Bee slapped his servo away, and he had a fleeting memory of an earth soap opera, "You _lied_ to me! You told me you were going down to Earth and you _deliberately_ didn't mention him because you- you- you and _Knockout_, seriously!?"

"I didn't- I didn't mention him because, because I thought he'd get in more trouble than I would, and-"

"And you're _still_ lying to me!" Bee grabbed his head with a groan before dropping his arms and turning around.

"Bee, I-" he leaned forward and grunted in pain as an warning flashed against his HUD not to do that.

The door hissed open.

"Ratchet, seriously, I-" Bee started, the exhaustion clear in his voice, but he stopped, and Blades leaned forward, far more slowly, to see why.

Knockout was leaning on the doorframe, looking sorely worse for wear. His right leg was scrapped down to the protoform, covered only in plain, white plastic medical armour- most of his right shoulder plating was missing and it looked like he only had one finger left on that hand- not the mention the huge gashes in his armor and the chunks of missing red paint, or the crack in his left optic. Despite it, he still had a shit eating grin on his faceplate.

"_Knockout_. What the frag do you want, and can't it _wait_?"

Knockout heaved himself off of the doorframe and swaggered in- a sort of waddle Blades attributed to the missing weight on his right side, "If there's anything we learned in the war, Bumblebee, is that you can never be certain there will _be_ a later to wait for. I mean _look_ at me! I've not looked worse since... _oh_, well, you, me, and New York, I suppose. Soooo, what are we talking about? _Meeee_?" He purred, and Bee hissed a sigh through clenched denta, shuttering his optics.

"_Yes_, Knockout, we are talking about_ you_."

"Ooh, _good_, I didn't miss anything then. Are we at the part where you're going to banish me yet, or are we still on 'how could you betray me, wahh wahh wahh?'"

Bee groaned hard and brought his servos up to his eyes, "_Primus_, Knockout, what is _wrong_ with you?"

Knockout clucked and shrugged with what remained of his shoulders, "Oh, _come now_, Bumblebee! We both know what's wrong with _me_. The question is though, what the_ frag_ is wrong with_ you_?"

Bee looked up, confused, onlining his optics and Blades swallowed heavily.

"What?"

Knockout gestured flippantly at Blades, who was startled by the motion, "You've seen my _type_. Not even _similar_. Don't be such an idiot."

Bee's optics spiraled open, "_Oh_."

Blades looked back and forth between them, trying to gauge Bee's reaction- something that went from startled, to pity, back to something sour, and then back to pity. He wasn't sure what was going on.

Knockout cast him a glance, "Don't think I'm doing you any favours; you saved my life, and I'd like to give doing so as pleasant a connotation as possible should it ever come up again. I'm not a big fan of the whole _dying_ thing. Especially not by-" his faceplate scrunched up angrier than Blades had ever seen it, "Not by MECH's hand."

Bee swallowed this time and Blades looked back at him. He looked almost _cowed_.

"Knockout, come on, you're kind of-" Bee started, but was interrupted.

Knockout shot him a very sharp look, "What? Flirtatious? Promiscuous? Am I too much for your delicate Autobot sensitivities?"

Bee frowned, "Don't turn this around, you're the one who's-"

"Getting banished, yes, I know, you made it _very_ clear that if I stopped acting like an Autobot I'd be out on my aft. At least have the _decency_ to let me complete my own repairs before you get back to your soap opera of a life," Knockout gestured to the gaudy white plastic armour on his leg.

Bee sighed, "I'm not banishing you, Knockout."

Knockout paused and raised an eyebrow ridge.

"Technically," Bee continued, "You didn't stop acting like an Autobot, because you didn't do anything an _Autobot_," he gestured towards Blades, who sunk back, "didn't do. Mostly though, you didn't hurt anybody, and it's nice to see you taking up a hobby that doesn't involve stabbing anything."

"Well in that case, there's still a showing of _Blair Witch Project_ in Oregon we were going to go to tomorrow, so-"

Bee tightened his optics with a burst of static and Knockout clamped his mouth shut, "Knockout, go away."

For once, Knockout just raised his arms, backing out of the room with that shit-eating grin slowly retaking its usual place on his faceplate. The door clicked shut behind him and Bee gave a weary sigh, turning to sit himself on the berth beside Blades.

"I'm getting to old for this."

Blades frowned, "You're the second youngest person I know."

Bee laughed, "Exactly."

"What was... that about?" Blades asked hesitantly, "As soon as he said I wasn't his type you got- I mean. You know. What was that?"

Bee looked up thoughtfully for a moment, "Don't tell him I told you. He's _probably_ already assumed I'm going to, but don't bring it up around him. Ever. He lost a spa- well, I _guess_ he was a sparkmate- but who knows with Knockout- during the war, and he's... well, he's _always_ been an absolute aft, but, he's... not really been the same since. He's all over the place. Knockout is a terrible person but- I think the war is _mostly_ to blame. If I'd gotten snapped up by the Decepticons at the beginning I would probably be in the same boat."

"Did you really say you were going to banish him?"

"...He's killed a lot of people. He's killed _a lot_ of people," Bee sighed, "But it... Optimus would have wanted us to give him a second chance. To... get better, I guess. Crazy Knockout I can _handle_. Knockout annoying half the population I can _handle_. Knockout sneaking out to movies with my boyfriend I guess I _have_ to handle. _Knockout_ I can handle. It stops being handled when he starts killing people again. Until he crosses that line, he's got my patience. And my sympathy. But don't ever tell him I said that, either."

Blades chuckled and scooted closer, "You've been working too much. You need a break."

Bee looked up at him tiredly, "I don't have a lot of options."

"Yeah, you do. Come see that movie with me tomorrow. Arcee can handle politics, Ratchet can handle authority- things are _handled_. 'You can take a break.'"

Bee smiled faintly, "Yeah, alright. A day. I can take a day. No Knockout."

Blades smiled, "No Knockout."

Their servos found eachother, fingers intertwining gently.


End file.
